The History of My Sexuality, Tobi Lakmaker
“You can race around the world searching for meaning and look for words that capture that meaning. But you won’t find anything.”
You would think by what this book says on the tin that The History of My Sexuality is a novel that focuses on sexuality, which it is, but it also delves into topics of grief, anxiety, loneliness, gender, societal pressures, career worries and life’s biggest questions. Rather than give you the answers, for a short and thrilling ride, readers are present for a chapter (or several) of Sofie’s life as she undergoes the freedoms and complications of coming out and going it alone.
We first meet Sofie through her sexual partners – a theme that develops throughout the novel into a much broader set of characters. They’re never on stage for very long, but they are a mode for our understanding of Sofie’s journey with her identity and selfhood.
Lakmaker has the dexterity to say the things that we wouldn’t dare to say, and then some. Like a great stand-up routine that seems to flow effortlessly, we’re always gearing up for the next laugh. Passively critical and refreshingly self-aware, the narrator acknowledges their own lack of depth by saying they’re ‘cut from Ikea wood’. The book is full of quick observations, and the voice stays derisive and detached throughout, even while we are hurtled like the crack of a whip into some of the most difficult and heartbreaking moments of Sofie’s journey.
Both secretive yet confessional, intimate yet held at arm's length, deadpan yet incredibly moving, this coming-of-age debut doesn’t hold back in its brilliance and beauty.
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