A Conversation with Laura Dockrill
“Well, I turned up to a party the night before last with a book under my arm. I’m that person. I have to just squeeze it in.”
So first of all, congratulations on being a judge for the Women’s Prize! Has the process already started?
Oh yes, big time! There are so many books in my house. In fact, just before I met you, my doorbell went because I’ve been sent more books, but I’m on my final stretch... If I had said to myself that I had to read ten books in a month, I would have said, fuck you. That’s not going to happen. But I’m reminding myself of those people that trained for the marathon when they’re like, ‘I’ve got a run tomorrow, oh I’m just running 18 miles or whatever’, and you’re like, ‘What?’ But that seems normal to them. Now, the idea of reading ten books in a month seems completely manageable to me now, which is just bizarre because I’ve got a small son and I’m a writer as well. Anyway, just before we met, my doorbell went, and I was getting cocky because I knew I had just one more book to come, baby. But it’s 628 pages. It’s a murder weapon. I can’t believe it.
I read a couple of really chunky books last year and when I started them, I was worried, but they actually took the same time to read as some much smaller books! It really depends on the book and whether they’re easy to get into it.
This is the thing! You can never really tell. One of the other ones that I read was a big meaty one actually. One was a really epic story, and I just went into another place. That was a real escapism. And, at the end of the day, even though I’m joking with you, what a privilege this is. I have so much fun doing this. I just feel like my brain has just grown so much in such a short space of time.
And how do you actually logistically fit it all in? When do you find time to read?
Well, I turned up to a party the night before last with a book under my arm. I’m that person. I have to just squeeze it in. I mean, my little boy is super into his Nintendo, like he loves Nintendo-ing, and my partner is a musician and he’s always fiddling around doing something so, actually, we’ve spent a lot of time being together but doing our different things.
And reading is just such a beautiful way to spend time, it’s so good for my mental health and it’s so calming. I’m trying, as a judge, to just be as natural as possible. Like, if I would enjoy this as a reader, just an everyday reader, then the book passes. I’m not putting my writer brain onto it too much, but it’s really hard to say no to any of them because they’re all fantastic.
God, I can imagine! So just taking it back to the beginning, I’d love to know what it felt like when you like first heard about being a judge and what relationship did you have with the Women’s Prize up until now? What did the prize mean to you?
That’s a nice question! I suppose, my answer has completely changed since I wrote a memoir about postpartum psychosis. So, I feel like I’m only just settling into my identity as a woman, as a mother, as all of those things. I still think I’m 15! I think, in my soul, I’ll always be a chubby grunger. So, when these big words like ‘women’ and ‘judge’ come to me, it really doesn’t help my imposter syndrome –especially in the writing world! I don’t have an academic background, I’m self-taught. I just like what I like – I like words and stories and humans, and this is just a massive honour. And when I look at the pictures and see myself standing up next to all these greats… all I can do is try to do what I do with everything; I take it on board and just make sure to be my true self. That’s all I can do.
And also, hearing Kate Mosse speaking about how, every time they announce the Women’s Prize, they get so much backlash from people saying, ‘This isn’t needed’, it just makes me think, you know, this is actually activism what we’re doing here, as well as it being joyous and fun. We’re doing some good work, and it’s needed. It’s really needed, and I love it. It’s a joy.
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Read the full interview in the Innocence Issue.
